Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Why fairy tales are detrimental to a happy life.

Photo found HERE
Many of us have seen the infamous Disney movies, displaying a prince charming and a damsel living in happily ever after, following a triumphant battle with a wicked villain. More recently we've seen Disney expand their story line beyond the repetitive endings, which I feel will help make what I'm about to explain, easily put into perspective. 

As a child, I lived by the mantra "a dream is a wish your heart makes". I believed in the idea of a happily ever after and a beautiful life with a handsome hero. During my teenage years, I was told my expectations were simply unrealistic and unobtainable. Now, some of you may have never experienced this in your life and have maintained the idea of a "happily ever after", but some of you - like myself - may have been "shattered" and gone on to live a "mediocre" love life. I for one, went on to settle. I was under the impression that finding unconditional love, wasn't a reality and dated men who were no where near up to par with who I deserved, like many others have done. It wasn't until I was in my 20's that I realized fairy tales are real. I am a single mom, I don't have anyone climbing towers to play the "victor", and I certainly don't need saving, but I believe. Living with the knowledge that fairy tales are indeed obtainable, I've realized quite a few things that I feel everyone should know. 

Photo found HERE
1. You never settle.
In Disney movies, you can be sure to come across a villain and a few scoundrels along the way, just as you do in life. The thing is, when you are under the impression that you can't "have it all", you end up bringing those scoundrels into your life, allowing many downfalls to follow. You will begin to question why you just can't catch a break or find a nice partner. It's because you brush off what should be a deal breaker. Obviously you shouldn't be exactly the same as your love interest, as some differences make for interesting adventures, but there is a difference between someone choosing Star Wars over Star Trek, and someone "jokingly" calling you a "dirty hippie", because you chose to grow a garden and hand wash your clothes. In "happy ever afters", you aren't a joke. You are you and you are worth loving as is.

2. You don't need to be rescued.
This may seem a bit contradicting, but if you take note of recent movies (for example, Frozen or Brave), men do not make the movie. They are simply an add on. You will have tough times and things may not always go the way you planned, but what I can tell you is that you are strong, beautiful, independent, and can literally do anything. See your downfalls as villains, they will never win. Having someone there to talk to, debrief to about your day, comfort you when you need a hug, is an amazing "cherry on top", but it's not what makes your story. Your story began well before that person and will continue on long after, with or without them. You can be your own hero/heroine. 

Photo found HERE
3. You CAN be happy.
In "happy ever afters", you see the peace and harmony in the "good" characters lives. You see how everything is bright and cheery, but in life, you can feel like this in itself just isn't in your future. It is. Think of it like this, you are watching the one person who you love loosing against the villain and you have to convince them of their strength. Repeat what makes them beautiful. Maybe the way they dance gracefully in the living room on a terrible day, or maybe the way they embrace nature, or maybe even the way they can comfort with warmth in every hug. You can always choose happiness and with the mindset of "fairy tale living", you'll look forward to the end chapter. Everything along the way becomes worth it and much more tolerable.

Disney can provide a bit of extravagant wishing, like living in a palace, but again it isn't impossible. Make your own castle, make your own ball gown, make your own happily ever after. They DO exist. I may not live in a mansion or eat like a queen, but I know that ever since I stopped listening to the villains and starting living in a fairy tale, I'm happier. I still have realistic expectations (I don't think I'll magically have a beautiful voice to persuade animals to clean my house), but I know now that when a bad day comes, it's just part of the story, and in the end my happy ever after will come. While I can't wait, I'm also enjoying every single chapter along the way, because I know it's making a great memory.

Do you believe in fairy tales

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