Thursday, March 31, 2016

Why you should never EVER visit Disneyland!

How awful, it's beauty is!
Warning: What you are about to hear is a graphic detailed explanation as to why Disneyland isn't the best place in the whole entire world, as told by someone I THOUGHT I knew. They make some points that I try to "defend and validate". Sarcasm is used, please apply it liberally when reading my answers in particular. The person's reasoning's are not my own and you will see how I truly feel about Disneyland. 

Recently I was having a conversation with someone about a past trip I took with my son to Disneyland. They proceeded to tell me that they hated the "treacherous place", but that they themselves had never been. This person went on and on about how horrendous it was, how it was a ginormous scam, and everyone who goes only leaves in misery. Out of pure curiosity I asked, "Why do you hate Disneyland so much?" After hearing their answers, I'm sorry but I absolutely must concur. There is no reason for a sane person to venture into this "hell hole". Heed my warnings!

Gasp! No one in line! Crowded indeed!
The rides are ridiculous.
Person: "Who in their right mind wants to stand in the hot heat and wait for HOURS just to ride a stupid machine that will end in 30 seconds. I mean, you'll end up getting hungry or the kid will get annoyed and you'll just be upset that you wasted your time. Pointless"

You're absolutely right. I mean, not only do you have the possibility of doing a fast pass to skip the lines later, but the actual ride itself is absolutely ridiculous! I mean, who wants to shoot pretend lasers at Zurg, take a boat ride with robot piranhas, or fly in a dumbo? Seriously! Not only will your child constantly ask to go on every single ride and you will abide by their wishes, but you will actually enjoy yourself! Do you realize what horror it would be if you actually had, FUN! You also have so many different themed areas in the park, with their own ride, how on earth do you plan on doing anything else? I mean it's not like you can eat in between rides or go to the bathroom before hand.

Found HERE
The food is so overpriced and disgusting.
Person: "I'm not going to spend $20 on one single turkey leg, when I can go to a grocery store and buy an entire chicken for $7. Who would be stupid to blow all their money on food."

I've never thought about that! I mean, I could never pack a few snacks and bring them with me, in order to save money and splurge on items you could rarely get outside of Disneyland. And who likes huge, delicious, chunks of meat that you can hold? Ugh, those monsters! Don't get me started on the ice cream! Creamy, rich, flavorful, AND you can have it in a cone?! What gives Disneyland! I'm not here to make memories and eat once in a lifetime-ish food!

He waited a WHOLE 2 mins and laughed!
It's always so crowded.
Person: "I see people's pictures at Disneyland and every where you look, people! Not only are the lines long for the rides, but you have to be in a line for everything! The bathroom, food, pictures, and even when you want to leave. How is that enjoyable? Your kid will pee on themselves before they ever get into a bathroom."

Gosh, I guess I never even realized that the Wednesday we went WAS crowded? I mean, we had to go to the one bathroom everyone was using, and we had to eat at the one specific restaurant that was packed and the most popular, and we had to suffer in those lines in the afternoon without utilizing the fast passes. God, what was I thinking? I mean, we went during the week, got to ride the popular rides with only three people ahead of us in the morning, ate at a restaurant that wasn't busy, and and never once had to wait for a bathroom. Man, it was so crowded.

Found HERE
The gift shops are scams.
Person: "Who wastes all their money on toys that are double the normal price?! I can go to the Disney store in the mall and buy the same thing way cheaper. That's so stupid. And if you can't find it in the stores, they can order it for you online and ship it to your house for free. Idiots."

Alright, that's it. I may not enjoy delicious hunks of meat, while walking around looking like a massive carnivore (I totally do), and I may not like waiting in a short line for a stupid ride (I freaking love it), and I may hate how crowded it is at the ice cream parlor during the middle of the week (1 person ahead of us), and I definitely don't like meeting my favorite Disney Characters (Met a ton), but I will not spend a single ounce of my money on a ridiculous, only sold at Disneyland, memorabilia that my son would absolutely adore, for the price of $10! (I spent about $100 on "toys" for us. It was a birthday gift. I budgeted for it. I bought them. Sue me.) 

Found HERE
If you can't tell, this entire things has been completely sarcastic. The person who was describing the "awfulness" was completely appalled by my answers. I began to tell her that if you haven't even experienced Disneyland, you literally have no room to talk. Disneyland is for dreamers filled with hope. For people who want to make memories and are willing to do a little research to guarantee a good time, even if a few wrenches get thrown in the plans. Nothing is perfect and there will be lines, people, and expensive things, but let's be realistic here. If you aren't a pass member and you rarely ever go, I doubt that's going to bother you. 

So if you don't like deliciously themed food, fireworks filling the beautiful night sky, joyous children and families all around, and adorable hats with mickey ears, stay the HECK away from Disneyland and let us "children" enjoy our "antics" in peace!

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