Monday, November 14, 2016

Monday Madness With A Manic Momma!

Let me tell you guys something, OCD paired with anxiety is a pain in the buttocks! I'm getting ahead of myself, hellooo rockin' Jedi's and Padawan's! I hope this past weekend was filled with delicious adventures and stories galore. Mine was a mix of food, fun, chores, and organization. Nothing out of the ordinary for this momma. That is until one my many anxiety attacks struck me last night after my little padawan had gone to sleep. This attack however, was not per usual. It had a purpose.

See, anxiety can be down right debilitating the way it causes you to become overwhelmed with all the "wondrous" (apply sarcasm here) things you MUST take care of at that exact moment. It's so much "fun" (again, sarcasm) when you end up in a sweaty, over-heated, shaking attack, because you just don't know where to start and if you don't get everything done now, the world will surely end! If you don't know what anxiety is like, well...that's just one of the ways it goes down for me. 

Last night while I was having mommy time with a glass of apple cider (non-alcoholic with just the right amount of fanciness). Instead of watching Netflix or catching up on the YouTube channels I routinely watch daily, I decided to browse through Pinterest just to see what was new. Big freaking mistake. 

It was during my Pinterest exploration, that I came across a gorgeous, yet simple, bedroom that had a very purposeful layout, achieving all my needs. I was awestruck and it was just then that my anxiety hit. The hall closet - unorganized, my padawan's room - have to put up posters, the kitchen - need to make the pantry "pretty" with organization jars, and my room (the worst of the worst) - in need of a complete redo! COMPLETE REDO. Have you ever heard of such daunting words? Especially when it's after 11pm, you have no idea how or where to begin, and you don't have the budget for it. Just stick a fork in me, because I'm done, or so I wish. 

I sprung into action completely cleaning out the hall closet, all while acting as a ninja in order to not disturb the little guy's sleep. First task checked off my mental list. 

My padawan's room was moved around (my cutesicle was sleeping in my bed) and reorganized, again, all while in full ninja mode. Task two complete. 

I had a case of jars that I had cleaned and was saving for my kitchen project, which "inspired" me to complete the kitchen project as well. Number three on the list finished, but now it's after 1am. Crap.

I decided that I had completed enough and just needed to rest. I had to take care of homeschooling today, usual mommy tasks, grocery shopping, and thanksgiving planning as well. There was no time for not sleeping, but my brain said "I really don't care about your exhaustion, you need to make a plan for the bedroom...NOW!" 

Unfortunately I caved and began looking on Pinterest for another 2 hours - I know, shame on me. Don't judge, I've been paying for it all day. I simply passed out mid Pinterest searching and to this very moment, I don't have diddly-squat. I have no idea how to achieve the "look" I have envisioned in my head (really, there are like 3 or 4 "visions" in my head at this point). I don't have a budget, I'm such a sentiment when it comes to the things in my bedroom, and I don't know how to go on! Luckily my anxiety calmed down tremendously last night, after sprucing up the rest of the house. I'm just stuck with this "irk" that's been pestering me non-stop. I plan on making numerous layout drawings - because it's the only way I can really work with these kinds of issues - and decide what's the best approach. If I do buy anything for the bedroom, I'll have to sell an item to get the money (it's a thing of mine, no new items unless something goes, i.e. I have a fear of being a hoarder), which is where I'm stuck, because I love everything I have. Again, I'm a sentiment. 

I'm scrolling Pinterest and trying to figure out ways to re-vamp my items in order to fit my needs, but it looks like I may just have to make a decision on what item to let go of. Question is, how and what? 

The issue is that I have a tiny roll top desk. I love it dearly and I've come to use it as my art station. It makes for a perfect drawing/painting/writing/creating station. It just doesn't give me the space I need to work with my laptop. It does however give me a makeup station as well, but I can't quite fit my makeup on it, along with my art stuff. I do have an idea to perhaps add a shelf about the desk's shelf, but I'm not sure. And if I do that, I need to find the right spot for it, before I start making holes. I also have this table that's currently being used as a bedside table, although it's bigger than that. I initially used it as an extra work space, but with it being so low to the ground, my back can't take the leaning over. It's perfect as a little TV stand, but I don't currently have a TV in my room. I know you're probably thinking "get rid of it then?!" Well it's more complicated than that. It's currently house to my vintage suitcases, picnic basket, and photography box. It also has my crafting supplies secretly stored inside. Without it I have no where to put my beauties. If I keep both the desk and the side table, I don't know if I'll have enough room to add a work desk for my laptop. I know I could just bite the bullet and work on the bed, but it's really frustrating at times. Do you see my dilemma now?!

Probably not. Most likely you won't have a clue what I'm blabbing on about and thinking I'm going nuts. It's alright, I thought it too. 

In all honesty, I'm really hoping that I can surpass this decorating phase, without spending a single penny. Knowing me, I'll have to accomplish something in my room or else it won't stop bugging me. 

For now, I've moved furniture around, reorganized the closest, downsized more of my clothes and shoes, and cleaned out my mini-desk. It will suffice for now and that's going to have to be good enough at the moment, because I'm wiped out!

Do you have any idea how exhausting it is to have an overwhelming amount of anxiety, which leads to a roller coaster of emotions, all while cleaning like a stealth ninja?! Good gracious!

Other than my manic mommy issue going on at the moment, everything's doing well at the "Rocking Chair" household. We've been planning our Thanksgiving feast - stay tuned for the deliciousness, learning the story about Thanksgiving (I don't sugar coat it, but I'm not graphic either), and creating a Christmas list for Santa!

We've also sat down and created a "To Do" list for this Christmas season - I know we've practically already started celebrating, but the city hasn't caught up with me yet. With ice-skating, a snow trip, sleigh riding, and a train trip *possibly* in store, there will be quite a few adventure posts coming your way! Of course I'll be sharing my budget tips and savory find along the way as well. No worries. 

Hopefully you Monday hasn't been as anxious as mine. If you have any tips on what to do or where to look for bedroom ideas, don't hesitate to let me know! In the meantime, I'll keep you posted if I make ANY progress on this "situation". Until tomorrow you rockin' Jedi's!

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