Thursday, January 26, 2017

What It's Like To Be a Single Mom Living Alone: Funny Edition!

Living alone can be a daunting task in itself, but when you're a single parent it can become down right terrifying. Like they say, the best way to face your fears is by diving right in and doing it in fear. That could not have been more true in this situation. 

Now that my padawan is a little older and actually sleeps in his own bed, I've grown to thoroughly enjoy the peace and quiet that comes at night. No one but me, myself, and I to run rampant - quietly of course - throughout our home. Sometimes I walk through the hallway, stare at our couch, and peak out the windows to take in the countless blessings. I make sure to maintain humble and incredibly thankful, because I know it could all be gone in a second. 

When I'm not being so serious however, I tend to be a bit...silly. I'm free after all! I finally get time to myself and oh do I bask in that glory. 

Parents know all too well how magical it is when you get that mommy or daddy moment. You know, the point when you're "off" for the night - at least for the time being - and you can watch the murder shows, take a shower, eat your secret sweets, or do gosh darn anything you want. That's exactly what I do after my mini me is out for the night. Well, once I'm done with the blog. 

It's during these times that I get to really understand who I am as a person. Having silence and "me time" allows me to better reflect on issues at hand, release my feelings, or bring out the inner kid in me. The other day I was laughing at how incredibly silly I would look to anyone who saw what I was doing. Even thinking about it now makes me giggle, so much so that I knew I had to share with you all the activities I tend to partake in - adultish and childish - when my spawn has drifted into slumberland. 

1. Play inside the tent I built - If I built a tent for my monster man to play in, you better believe it's going to be used when he's asleep. I pull my blankets, iPad, snacks, pillows, and drinks inside to indulge in Netflix in my newly proclaimed mini fort. No shame.

2. Take a bubble bath...with toys - Sometimes I run myself a nice hot bath, pour in the bubbles, put on a candle to have dim light, grab a drink of apple juice - because I don't drink drink - and have rubber ducky wars. My son and I go to the Farmer's Market every once in a while, where there is a stand that sells unique rubber duckies. Personally I have two that I adore and those two are the ones that are constantly battling for the rights to bubbletopia, that land of the free and sudsy. 

3. Draw, journal, or color - In the past I've talked about how I destress (see that post HERE). One of the things I do consistently is journal (check out how to get started HERE) and another is adult coloring (see why I color HERE). Expressing my feelings in an artistic way, whether it be writing, doodling, or filling in blank space, gives me a sense of accomplishment. It also free's my mind in  way and tends to turn off the non-stop hamster wheel turning in my head. Because I have to focus on what I'm doing, my mind has no time to speed think. This comes in handy especially when I've had a hectic day. 

4. Act like I have my own YouTube show - Sometimes I walk around pretending to do tours or storytimes to an audience. I don't think I'd ever get in front of real camera nor would I attempt it (thanks anxiety), but it's really funny to pretend with different accents. I have "guest speakers" - me using a different accent - who come to talk about their hilarious moments in life. You know what they say, people who talk to themselves tend to be geniuses! 

5. Eat the forbidden cake - I'm a sweets person. Always have been, most likely always will be. It's an extremely bad habit of mine and I actually want to cut down (I'll even be giving them up for lent this year...yay) but for now my plan isn't working. The moment my little angel rests his weary head on that fluffy overpriced pillow, I speed walk to the fridge and devour the slice of sweet goodness that's been carefully hidden behind the "nasty juice" (blood orange and ginger juice) and coffee cans. I know I shouldn't eat it. I know it's bad for me. I know I have to watch my portions. I know I shouldn't eat after a certain time. I also know I'm going to do it anyways, sometimes in the tent I mentioned earlier. 

6. Play detective - This time I don't mean literally as in Murder She Wrote the show, books, or Nancy Drew (simply click each link to view my post about each of them). No what I mean is I'm metiche to the max! That means nosy. I tend to secretly peak out of the window and watch the world go by - I don't want anyone knowing I'm watching. I listen to hear any ruckus, check out the stars, and keep a curious eye open. I know they say curiosity killed the cat, but I can't help it. I want to know what's going on around my neighborhood and who I'm dealing with close by. Don't get me wrong, I don't meddle into anyone's personal business, I'm just the queen of knowing what's happening. Most of the time though, I make up stories about the "passerbyers" and how their lives might be from day to day. It's like a mini show inside my head. I swear I'm not crazy.

7. Laugh at the hilariousness that surely ensued throughout the day - Let's be honest here alright. Our kids drive us bananas, we are overworked, everyday something bad happens (broken toys, spilled drinks, bumped on the pinky toe, etc.), and when it comes bedtime, you can't help but freaking laugh at all the crap that went on. For example, today we built a tent and the chairs got knocked over on my head, because an overly zealous child of mine decided he HAD to test the strength. Was I upset when it happened? Uh yea! It freaking hurt! Did I yell? No, but I gave a stern look and told him I was about to tear down the frustrating monstrosity. Did I laugh about it when he fell asleep? Heck yeah I did. Come on, how is it not funny to be on your hands and knees, securing a sheet over your kitchen chairs, only to be knocked over the head by a timbering chair behind you, that has a Spongebob sheet hanging from it?! Good times, good times. 

8. Play video games - I don't play my Nancy Drew computer games without my young padawan, but I do dabble in 007 and Call of Duty on the Playstation. When you've had a stressful day - regardless how big or small - and you just want to let out all the aggression you've been holding in, nothing makes you feel better than shooting a bunch of zombies or going full stealth mode as the king of stealth himself. Perhaps they're a bit old, but you can never get sick of just pressing buttons and whispering profanities at the walking dead coming towards you. 

I surely do quite a few other things throughout my nightly escapades at home: dancing like a poor sap that's had too many to drink, pretending I'm a black belt, attempting Yoga, trying on all of outfits, playing with hairstyles, watch YouTube videos, catch up on my old shows, read. The thing is though, they aren't all as...unique-ish as the ones I've mentioned. At least in my opinion. Perhaps some are more commonly known and "practiced" by fellow parents - or single dwellers alike - but to me it's quite comical to think of myself as this lone wolf in her living room busting out McJagger moves like nobodies business. It's one of the reasons I'm embracing the single life, because if I had a significant other I feel like I might be put on social media or YouTube for the senseless violence I bestow on a good slice of cake. Heck, even a burrito isn't safe from my clutches after 8pm. 

While I don't see myself as this comedic human being that could have her own show of hilarious jokes and sound affects (Gabriel Iglesias anyone? Man I love that guy), I do think that my way of just being me is certainly one for the books. I struggle with being a single mom and I struggle living alone, but instead of living in fear, I do it in fear. 

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