Wednesday, February 1, 2017

An Open Letter to the Man That Came 24 Years Later.

The little girl who grew up with a family like many others, yet not like the rest, has known nothing
else. The little girl who knew one dad and one mom, has known nothing else. The little girl has grown up and she's afraid of change. She deals with anxiety, she struggles with depression, she worries that the world is moving too fast. The little girl has come to terms with the fact that things go on, regardless if she's ready for it or not. 

2015 changed her. 

The little girl grew up and had her own son. She lived a life not like many and began to dream like the few. She started to learn who she was as a person, after so many years of turmoil within herself. She didn't accept just anyone who waltzed into her life and she questioned those who were already in her bubble. The older little girl still didn't like change, but she learned to deal with it better. 

The little girl is all grown up and has known her mother as her mother and her father as her father. Separate entities that simply co-existed in her life. Two people that made the little girl, but weren't the "poster family" to the world. The little girl didn't know any different. Until 2015.

2015 changed everything. 

A man of mystery came into the older little girl's life. A man she knew so little about came into the center of her life and was now apart of her son's. This man was with her mother as her partner in life and it was real. They were wed and now the little girl had a second dad.

Before the wedding, things were cordial. She was awkward and didn't like change, but something told her this change was better. This change would be worth it. 

After the wedding the older little girl stayed awkward, but in her usual self. The mystery man became a common person in her daily life and became someone she could talk to. The mystery man became someone her padawan could confide in and love. The mystery man was no longer a mystery. 

A while has passed, over a year to be exact, and now that mystery man is in her bubble. But it's different. 

She doesn't question his existence, she doesn't ponder if he'll stay, she doesn't worry about this change, or if he will turn out like the rest. She doesn't even think about it. 

The older little girl has finally become comfortable. She see's the man once called "mystery man" as someone she can confide in. Someone with a warm heart, a giving personality, and a sense of peace in her strange life. Someone she can proudly call dad.

What did he do to deserve this title? I will tell you.

Throughout all of the older little girls life, she was judged. She was ridiculed - even to this day - about her aspirations in life and what dreams she was working on. She was told that they were "stupid, no good, worthless, pointless" and told to stopping thinking about them. She was told that she wouldn't make those dreams come true, because she'd have no support. All her life she was scared of change, because she truly believed that with change came disaster. She truly believed that she was the root to everyone's issues and problems, because she was in the way. 

The older little girl was insecure, untrusting, and broken. She deals with anxiety and depression. She constantly cried out for a sign that she wasn't stupid or worthless or pointless. She knew that's what people said about her dreams, but she felt they were saying it about her as well. 

The older little girl was scared. Then the mystery man became her sign. Her second dad became her peace. 

With this change, the older little slowly started to share her dreams and aspirations. She was fearful that she'd be seen as naive, but she always gave the benefit of the doubt first. She was terrified, but she wanted to try. 

This mystery man did not change and that changed her. 

The once called "mystery man" supported her dreams and aspirations. He showed her that she could truly do it. He gave her the hope she needed to keep moving on. He showed her the sign she desperately called out for. He proved that just because he wasn't blood, didn't mean he didn't care. 

Sure her family was there. Sure her family cared. Sure her small, unique family should've been enough. But when you're broken, you think that your family is only saying it because they're family. 

This man wasn't blood. He didn't have to care. He didn't have to support me. He didn't have to show his unconditional love endlessly. He didn't have to be a person of good means. But he was. He is. 

The older little girl knew this was someone she wanted as family. She knew that even though they say "blood is thicker than water" and that "marriage is just a piece of paper", she wouldn't see it that way. She knew that this mystery man deserved to be called dad. 

Now the older little girl has this to say to her second dad:

You have given her more than you could ever begin to imagine. You've done more for her than she could ever begin to explain. She is a much more courageous person, because you've given her hope. You've instilled in her to not give up, no matter how many people are weighing on the negative end. You've helped her and her son with nothing in return and that is a selfless love. She hopes to make you proud.

You're a big reason she keeps pushing forward as a kind person and why she does to others how she would want done to her, regardless of the downfalls she's faced. You are someone she aspires to be like and she's so incredibly proud to have her son around you. 

She may have a dad already and while she loves him dearly, she loves you dearly as well. You are worth no less to her and her son. You don't have to be blood to be loved by them. 

Sure her family supported her, sure they were there, but you. You weren't there for all the years of her life, yet it doesn't matter. The memories she holds near and dear regarding you, can't be photographed or replaced. They aren't bought or made. The memories she holds near and dear are the hugs you give them with such passion, the open ears to their wild wants, the eyes of encouragement regardless of her journey. The memories she holds near and dear to are also the stepping stone to the many more she anticipates and will cherish just as much. 

Thank you for being there for her. Thank you for never giving up on them. Thank you for being the person to give her hope. Thank you for fixing her courage. Thank you for accepting her and her son as they are, strange and all. Thank you for your supportive nature and your words of wisdom. Thank you for being an adventurous being she can share stories with. Thank you for all that you do and give. 

Thank you dad. They love you. We love you. I love you. 

Sincerely, 
The older little girl. 


*All pics are royalty free photos from visualhunt.com*

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