Tuesday, May 2, 2017

National [not really] Anxiety Day.

Holy guacamole. I've been feeling the wrath of the world today and I'm just about to burst into tears while clawing at my mattress apart like a feral cat with resentment. 

Now it's not REALLY national anxiety day - not even sure if that's a thing - but it's surely felt like it. Everywhere I looked there was someone causing me severe anxiety or just plain being rude. Obviously no one is intentionally responsible for my mental craziness except me, myself, and I, but I'm an exhausted mother so I'm allowed to have a breakdown every now and then. It's basically a law that any parent is allowed a "coo-coo" day. Or at least it should be...within reason of course.

This morning started off pretty casual, with my mom picking up my padawan and I to head to the little guy's first Kung Fu lesson. He was excited, I was excited, grandma was excited. Excitement for everyone. I even got to wear my new flip flops that I found at the Goodwill booth during the Earth Day Festival (see that post HERE).

Then my Sparklett delivery guy decided to tell me that he needed a payment today in order to deliver my 1 gallon of water. So I log into my account only to find that Sparklett not only charged me for deliveries I NEVER RECEIVED, but also charged me for a few bottles that they sent in March, that I never requested. I literally had 7 bottles of water in my house for the month of March and had to tell them TWICE to stop. Finally they did and they were supposed to credit me back 5 of them, but apparently they decided to charge me again. 

So I spent a good hour trying to dispute all of the charges as I played phone tag, finally convincing them that I had zero deliveries since March. I even kept the prior confrontation from last month off of the blog, hoping that it was a simple mistake that Sparklett would indeed correct. Seeing as how it looked to be resolved, I moved on from the situation trying to remain positive. After today though I've decided to completely cancel my service altogether. I know that I reviewed the company in February (see that post HERE) but I'd like to retract any confidence I've had prior to today. With so many issues and rude employees, I politely cancelled my subscription. This isn't to say that every single experience will be like mine. I'm simple giving you an insight into what I personally have gone through with them.

If that wasn't enough, I also had to deal with my OBGYN and insurance company. Oh what a joy that always is.

First I found out that my OBGYN won't accept my insurance, so my medication is no longer covered, making my prescription useless and I have one pill left for today, but nothing for tomorrow. Yay. 

So I had to contact a pharmacist to see my options, then I had to call my insurance to double check my options - who then refused to tell my options and recommended I call my PCP - and then I called my awesome step-dad who is helping me to get a new prescription. Slight anxiety waiting in anticipation to see if I can get my medication tomorrow, but I'm confident in him so it's not NEARLY as high as it would be if I had to depend on a different doctor.

I truly think if my mother hadn't taken my padawan and I to get some coffee and food, I probably wouldn't have eaten or drank coffee and I'd be a bigger mess as I type this. 

I came home to clean up the house, tend to my little guy, complete bath time, cook, clean again, squeeze in a power nap, and now I'm finishing up this blog post so I can ATTEMPT to finish reading my book before bed. 

Hopefully my mind will actually shut off tonight without the usual ramblings - which I'm 99.99% sure will make their rounds regardless - so I can actually get to sleep early. I'm even planning on skipping tonight's episode of Pretty Little Liars (I know, it's crazy), because I'm panicking as I type. 

My friend calls it "manic mode", which I truly believe is the perfect term for it. 

I didn't plan on making today's post a "my day" topic, but I can't even think straight to feed my dang self. I have energy and the mental capacity to feed my youngan and Yoda, but none to care for myself. I know, shame on me, but again "coo-coo" day. 

The only goals I have now are to finish washing the dishes, perhaps take a bubble bath and read - or just lay in bed and read - and try to force myself into eating something. I need rest for tomorrow's adventures and any trials that may come my way. Luckily I have faith that this will all pass and is merely being over-exaggerated by my lack of food intake and sleep. 

While I still try to abide by my current mantra: "my current situation is not my final destination", I've also added another one to my daily life: "fear can keep us up all night long,  but faith is one fine pillow". 

Faith don't fail me now!

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